# Sat there with tea towel over head during other readers' sets. Refused to face audience when his turn as "might spoil magic".
# Tried to sell six dozen 25g packets of Cutter's Choice imported from Turkey. Became demonstrative.
# Looked awkwardly at my mother whenever poem contained swear word.
# Repeatedly sniffed nosegay.
# Sang the line "Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme" in isolation one hundred and twenty times. Claimed 'secular ascetic practice'.
# Did not, as claimed, seek a theme and search for it in vain; did not even try.
# Took medication in public.
# Ate whole tray rice crispie squares.
# Introduced one poem by saying, 'Well, so this is... I usually think of something funny to say about this poem, but I haven't had the chance today because... So that's a bit awkward.'
# Claimed apostolic succession.