Saturday, 12 March 2011

Sealing Wax, Staring at the Unfunny

Good news! I overcame my fear of standing in front of a closed door holding way too many pies! Also, I have my own personal stash of copies of Planet-Shaped Horse and you can buy one directly from me if you like: I will send it to you postage free for the cover price of £5. Not only is it postage free, but you can take pleasure in the fact that the transaction will also involve me copying your address onto a scrap of paper, searching the house for envelopes and swearing, walking two miles to the post office in the rain, queuing for forty minutes because post offices have basically become weird banks/govt. offices for confused elderly people which only happen to operate a low-profit sideline in delivering mail, and there are eighteen people who want to exchange their passport and collection of coins with holes in the middle for food stamps and sealing wax, staring at the unfunny greeting cards and reflecting that they remind me of the drawing style in Family Guy and that that's why I could never quite "commit" to Family Guy, playing video poker on my phone and losing everything on three jacks, then getting to the counter, paying for the envelope and realising that I left the scrap of paper with your address on it at home.

The £5 can be wired to me using PayPal, which is a mysterious means of exchanging money just by knowing someone's email address (mine is I have absolutely no idea how it works, but drop me a line if you'd like a copy.

Alternatively, if you love pamphlets of poetry but hate Kennard, I'd recommend the recently published Brumaire and Later by Alasdair Paterson, which is the most delightful thing I've read in a while. Available from Flarestack Poets or, if you live in Birmingham, the IKON gallery shop.