A friend reminded me last night that the wonderful Kate Bush's 'Wuthering Heights' came on at a party a while ago and that it had provoked me into an uncharacteristic rant, mostly against a former English teacher who thought that playing the song to the class on one of those old 3x3-cube school cassette players was any kind of substitute for teaching us to appreciate the novel. I averred, with no disrespect to Bush, that the formula could be expressed thus:
"Bad dreams in the night,
They told me I was going to lose the fight,
Leave behind my [Half of title], [Half of title], [Full title]!
[Male lead]! It's me! [Female lead]! Come home!"
I'm so [typical attribute of female lead]! let me in-a your [relevant location]!"
And that it could be about absolutely any novel ever written, e.g.:
1.
"Bad dreams in the night,
They told me I was going to lose the fight,
Leave behind my great (the), great (the), great (the) Gatsby.
Gatsby! It's me, Daisy! Come home!
I'm so anxious! Let me in-a your mansion!"
2.
"Leave behind my portrait of a, portrait of a, portrait of a lady!
Oswald! It's me, Isabel! Come home.
I'm so conscientious! Let me in-a your maisonette!"
3.
"Leave behind my Copperfield, Copperfield, David Copperfield.
David Copperfield! It's me, Pegotty! Your former housekeeper!
I'm not actually the female lead, but I scan better."
